This is a blog a wrote a few weeks ago on my myspace blog regarding people that tell me they know what it's like having a kid when they in fact DON'T have a kid.
Read on:
I'm sick and tired that time and time again (ok only twice) I meet a girl working somewhere (at the uniform shop and at the bank) they will ask me about my son so I ask them "do you have any kids?" They say no but that they know how it is because a) they took care of a sibling because a parent is working and b) because they live with a "3 yr old"
NO! it is NOT the same!!! It is NOT the same to have the responsibility of taking care of your own child and taking care or living with someone else's child.
Now I'm not knocking down the fact that, yes you gain experience and maybe what it could be like to have a child but until you have a kid of your own you have NO idea what is is to have a child.
When you have your own child you stress out about what they will eat for dinner, what you will buy them for their bday or xmas. You ask yourself whether you can go out this coming weekend and if you will be able to find a baby sitter. When all you do is live with a child, or simply babysit a child you don't have any of these concerns. Sure maybe for the time you baby sit you do and yes maybe you do buy then stuff for their bday and Xmas but you DONT HAVE to do it. You are not required or obligated to do these things. Then after you are done baby sitting, back to the parents they go and you can go out and party.
So don't sit there and tell me that you know how it is if you don't have your own kid. If you can't go out because you are babysitting is because YOU agreed to it. If I can't go out because I have my son, I DON'T have a choice. He is my obligation. A kid you are babysitting is NOT your obligation.
To be fair, my son doesn't live with me full time. I get him on my days off work. But consider this, I can't go out on work nights (it's called being responsible) and when I am off work I have my son and I can't always get a baby sitter to go out so I am assed out!
If YOU can't baby sit a kid one day you can say "sorry I'm busy I can't do it", and the REAL parent deals with it. if I cannot find a baby sitter, that's to bad for me, I cannot go out.
As a babysitter you ARE NOT obligated to provide for that kid. As a REAL parent you need to spend some of your paycheck for your kid, it's your obligation.
Consider this next time you are there at work sitting down telling a REAL parent you know what it's like:
Ask yourself who is taking care of the kid while you are at work? If you're answer is not: with my significant other or a family member babysitting or at a babysitter, or if you never had the stress and responsibility of finding a babysitter you DON'T know what it's like.
So unless you experience these things and there are many more that only a REAL parent goes through, don't sit there and tell REAL parents you know what it's like because YOU DON'T! DON'T insult us like that!
Don't base you babysitting experience (sibling or not) on being a reason to want to have kids because it is NOT the same thing and you WILL see a difference.
When you baby sit, the kid goes back to their mom and dad, With your own kid YOU ARE THE PARENT! There is NO taking him back anywhere. You are in for a RUDE awakening.
By no means am I saying having a kid is bad. In fact it is a fun a rewarding experience but don't expect it to be the same as simply babysitting.
If you still argue that it's the same, go ahead have your own kid then come back tell me it's the same thing after some punk kid tells you they know what it's like because.....
It will change your whole outlook and you will know what I was ranting about!
4 comments:
Yes...and do babysitters cry the first time that child's heart is broken or when they lose their first tooth and do they worry about their future...about the world that they have to grow up in??? Do they worry about them having to go to war or about being poisoned by lead ridden toys? And when they are sick, do they stay up with them all night?
Our kids depend on us to be responsible and to make the right choices in life. I used to go out all the time before kids...now I am lucky if I go out once a month. That's ok though...it doesn't bother me. When they are little they really need us. As they get older, those needs change and you'll see more opportunities for socializing. It will get easier.
I'm sorry but it's just so irritating when they tell me this and I try politely to tell them it's not the same and they sit (or stand) there trying to argue that it is. How can they tell me that when I have taken care of other kids (younger brother and sister) and now I have my own. They DONT have their own. There is NO WAY in hell they can say it's the same. They just don't understand until they have their own kids.
They have the nerve to argue with you? Oh boy. I think that they are trying to prove that they can be a mommy for your little munchkin :)
...and yet they haven't twigged that blokes never list 'a desire to empathise' on a small-ad.
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